6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
