i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
