i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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