you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
