y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
