She's JV to your varsity
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
