margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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