Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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