id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
