Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
