I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
