if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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