Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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