I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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