Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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