She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
