You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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