yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
