Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I cannot find my penis.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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