The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
operation have a gay friend backfired
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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