I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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