Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
