belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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