Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
