paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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