can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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