i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
