Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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