11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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