The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The struggles of a small town man whore
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
