vagina is talking i cant
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
