im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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