We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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