somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
