If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
