Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
