TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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