The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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