i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
