So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
