Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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