i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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