we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
