I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He kissed a someone with a penis
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
