My room smells like vodka and shame
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
How external is "for external use only"?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
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