Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He? As in you personified your dick?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
