the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
