the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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