margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Randomize
