So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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