I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
